June 4 2009

When I first started this journey back in November I was about 79kgs, had lost a few kgs while on holiday as I was more active and more aware of what I put in my mouth as I didnt want to return to Germany being over 80kgs again....
In Feb this year after trying the Fruit only diet, Atkins, my own thing and Heinz telling me * I dont know why you put yourself through all this as you never loose weight * I decided it was time to do Weight Watchers - I had seen friends successfully loose on the plan - and not feel deprieved.
When I started WW my goal weight was 68kgs...
Then when I joined WW while on holiday in March, the group leader told me I should try for 65kgs - so that became my new goal.
When I returned to Germany and joined WW online it showed me that 60/62 was my ideal weight...so 62 has become my new goal weight.
I have at this stage achieved both of the goals that were set out for me.

I need to explain what I am concerned about quickly.

Last night I went out and saw my neighbours, the one said how tiny I had become and the other asked me * how much weight have you lost now* I told her it was 15kgs, she then touched on her neck area and said * Dont loose anymore, its enough now* - but didnt say anything about my skin - her hands showed the actions.
I then told Heinz last night after my bath...he turned around and said to me that he has been noticing that the skin on my body is *hanging* but hasnt wanted to say anything to me as he knows it will upset me ( he had mentioned something about the loose skin on my stomach a few days earlier and I was hurt ) He told me that everyone is noticing the changes on my face and that he thinks it time I stopped dieting.

I can see the skin on my body has changed, but that is also due to age, I notice on my legs, my arms and of course my stomach area looks really wrinkled - I find I am now looking at all women my age to see if their skin is looking like mine - and yes I have noticed in their neck areas like mine the skin is loose. To be honest I noticed a change in my neck skin area when I was fat...so whats the story now, is it just more noticable to everyone else.

I want to achieve my goal of 62...I think my skin will become my new motivation for getting to gym...I will need to do lots of toning to firm up my arms and legs so that the skin looks better...I always cream my whole body after my bath - have always - will always.

There is always the downside to loosing weight - bt to me when I am dressed in my clothes no one sees the skin - Does it bother me...Yes of course it does....but I want to get to my goal weight - its only 3kgs away and then the hardest part starts, keeping the weight off is going to be much harder than this part..In a way I fear reaching my goal weight - reaching goal means learning to Maintain!!