Me, Myself and the Mirror

The *Before* Marcelle

I hated mirrors, I would drop my head as I walked towards my cupboard which has mirrors plastered all over the doors, open the door, then lift my head.
I would stand far away to check if what I was wearing looked okay and not wear my glasses while doing this as then I would get a blurrish look at what the me looked like.

I did stand naked in front of the mirror once to do this experiment after reading a book by Bob Harper who suggested I do this...the most important part of this experiment was to thank your body afterwards, he believes you cant change what you don't acknowledge..

I saw a oros lady in the mirror...not the gym instructor that I was in the past. I saw how my body had grown in all the areas...nothing even looked like the body I had anymore.

My face - was so much fatter and swollen looking, my eyes looked smaller - my cheeks bigger.

My breasts - were huge....I went from a 36C to a 38H - they were so swollen and heavy.

My arms - so big - side view would give me a fright, they were two big long watermelons, no muscle definition to be seen. Only blubber

My stomach - Round, menopausal looking belly, big hips, lots of fat on them.

My back - had two huge rolls - dents on either side of my back...my butt is round and big

My legs - fat, they rub together, when I stand there is no gap anywhere, they have dimples on them, my calves are big, my knees have two rolls of fat on either side, I can grab them with my hands...my ankles look chunky

Over all I don't like what I see, I get pulputations when looking at the naked me, I feel myself breaking out into a sweat - I hear my thoughts in my head saying * HOW AND WHY DID YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET TO THIS STATE* I walk away feeling so depressed and head off to find the next diet I can try to get rid of what I see looking at me.

The *After* Marcelle

I love the mirror, I walk with my head up and look at the reflection and hear myself saying...* wow, you did it*
I stood in front of the mirror today to do this experiment again -

I love what I see. My body fat is low, my body looks toned, my body is all in proportion now. I don't see any fat anywhere. Am I really 47?, I wonder as I have a better body at 47 than I had at 40....
The area's I see I don't like are so small now - the good out weighs the bad...
I have lose skin on my stomach from 3 babies, my last one being 5kg's at birth, I was huge, the skin on my arms are not as tight as they used to be as the skin stretched when my arms got bigger - but I am doing weights and working on making them look at good as possible with all the self harm I've done to them.
I love my boobs the most, they are so small now compared to what they looked like...they are now a 34C...the perfect size...my perfect size.
My stomach is hard ( under the loose skin ) I haven't felt hard abs on my body in years...with fat covering the muscle you dont get to feel hard abs...now they rock hard..wow...and they have some shape to them...when I read my menopause books they tell me my body should be changing and then they show me a picture of what I can expect...I'm going to fight that shape for as long as possible as I first want to enjoy having a normal shape again.

I'm very thankfully that I have a body that is injury free, that can do what it does no matter it's age...I am thankful my body gives me life and a very healthy one.