23 March 2009

I went away to Hermanus with my family this weekend....it was stunning there, I love it, want to live there or retire...its such a beautiful place, the sun and sea lifestyle....this is the HOME I miss when in Germany....that lifestyle.

Anyway, I took all my special foods along with me and kept to the program of counting points for the 3 days I was there....I even ran for 5 kl on Saturday and Sunday morning before breakfast...with a sore hip!! My family were telling me to give training at least a 6 week break, but I know I cant afford to do that, I will never get to lose those last 5kgs to be at goal for weight watchers...I hope to lose another 3 kg's before returning to Heinz in 6 weeks time...I do need to run to be able to do that...

I am feeling so fat at the moment...my clothing are hanging on me and I can see from this that I have lost, I dont have to undo my zip or buttons on my pants I can just pull them over my hips, but when I look at myself in photo's or mirror I see all the fat I still have on my body. I made my sister in law take a few pics of me in my bikini and in strappy tops, I want to see when I am 5kgs lighter the difference...I hate seeing these photo's now...my arms and legs are so fat and full of cellulite...aweful. I pray I see some change, thats all I am dieting for right now...to have this body that I hated loking at gone!!

I am very nervous about being weighted this week, not that I cheated, but just because I didnt lose last week...I did weigh myself on my daughters scale on Friday and was 70 kgs....wanted to weigh in this morning again after the weekend but could not bring myself to ...will do so tomorrow...if I've gained there I will have gained at weighless...as I weigh in at 5pm...here I weigh in first thing in the morning.

Am still loving my holiday and spending time with family - now looking forward to my friend Sinead's arrival from the UK next week...she was the one who got me onto WW - she lost all her baby weight and now weighs 69 kgs and is so much taller than I am...the last time I saw my friend was when they came to visit Heinz and I in Germany, going to be good to be together again in our home town....